Derby and String

The Gauntlet

I used to LOVE being sick in high school, because then I could stay home and watch my very very secret guilty pleasure, which is no longer that secret, now that I am broadcasting it to the whole internets.

Hi! Yes, the painkillers are working, how are you? Wow. I am more off my game than I thought.

ANYWAY! Yes, I love American Gladiators.  So I will provide this promo to all of you so you can share in my joy that AG has returned to television.  Merry Christmas. :)

It's ALIIIIIVE!!

Hi.

I am here, but severely drugged up. Got rear-ended almost 2 weeks ago in the little Spattern by a Bentley.  My poor legs look like they've been beaten with a small stick...I have weird random bruises on them.  Not sure if that's related, but thank the good Lord for painkillers!  (I hurted my back. Muscle, not bone or disc, thank God.)

I am OK.  My car, thank the Rubbermaid, is OK.  The Bentley technician who "borrowed" the car to go for a joyride from the dealership down the street probably had a very bad Christmas, seeing as how he got fired and got a pretty hefty ticket for "road rage" (no joke) and stupid dude told the cop "How am I supposed to pay attention to some crazy woman driver AND talk on the phone at the same time?"

No.  I am not joking.

So instead of going into great detail about how much I hate and love painkillers, I will tell you a short story...

Couldn't get MHP to go to sleep on Christmas Eve.  We were at my parents' house, and my mom was baking in the kitchen with the radio on, and we hear a blurb for the NORAD Santa-Tracker.

So I call the number the radio mentioned to see where Santa was so I could strongly encourage the little peanut to get his peanut behind in bed.

The number they said on the radio was 1-877-CALL-NORAD. BTW? That is NOT THE NORAD SANTA TRACKER. (that is 1-877-HI-NORAD)

I had put my cell phone on speaker so MHP could hear, and I could not find the "end call" button fast enough...oh, wow.  Porn on Christmas Eve....and a merry Christmas to all!

I actually finished all of my Christmas knitting - even an un-planned tuque for my brother, who saw something I was knitting and actually liked it.  go figure. :)

Vivaldi Must Die.

I have been listening to the "Spring" movement of the "Four Seasons" concerto by Vivaldi over and over and over again for 1 hour and 43 minutes while on hold with a certain online travel company that I have used for pretty much every domestic trip since I started with this company, and will no longer use, due to their hellish telephone customer service.

I know that telephone customer service is probably one of the WORST places to work (right up there with telemarketers, IRS agents, people who discontinue certain yarn colours and the lady who dances with the big sandwich board advertising mattresses on the corner near my office), but seriously? Along with all of the weird things I've done in my life, I've done it.

It ain't that hard.

If you figure out a way to help the person, and occasionally say "I understand, let me see what I can do to help you!" then the caller does not become hysterical and demand to talk to your supervisor.

Seriously.  Yesterday when I called, I was transferred 4 times without prior notice that or why I was being transferred, and it....it's stupid.  I just hate being on hold with a mad passion, and when you say you are going to be back in 5 minutes, don't come back in 45 and expect the person to be pleased to hear from you.

I just want to change a #$(E%U&%$*^ing ticket.

So I just hung up the phone, and 1 hour 48 minutes 59 seconds.  A new hold record for me....what's your worst phone customer service story?

I need to lie down.

Has anyone noticed that I have not posted my yearly "Bitch about Christmas" post?

Actually, this would be the 2nd year in a row that I haven't, so maybe it's not as much of an annual thing as I thought it was.  In fact, I've only written one.  and it's here in case y'all want to read about how far I have come in my Grinchiness.

I am apparently going all Ninja Grinch on people this year...I killed the poinsettia on my desk (DAMMIT) and have put a ban on all Christmas muzak in the office by turning the volume on the speakers wayyyy low when holiday junk comes on.

*sigh*  I wish I enjoyed the holidays more. :(

ANYWAY.  I had this brilliant idea for a post! I swear on my stash I did! And I have totally forgotten it between divining a title for this post, and trying to find the proper Grinchy post in my archives and now it's almost time for me to go home.

I need help people.  Send elves.  Oh, and if anyone in the general Washington State area knows of a place I can purchase a Wii, please let me know. That is the only thing MHP has requested for Christmas, and I'm about ready to sell my car for one.

*sigh* Again.

important lesson.

I learned something today, crucial to my survival as an independant woman.

In my current abode, you cannot run the dishwasher, the microwave, the stove and the TV at the same time without tripping a breaker.

And the fuse box is in my neighbor's apartment, and they don't appreciate being awaken at 2am when I cannot sleep and am making popcorn and cookies while watching "House of Wax."

Just so's you know.

A Roller Derby Joke!

Mostly to distract all of you from the fact that this is not a *real* post.

Three men were sitting together bragging about how they had given their new wives duties.

The first man had married a secretary and had told her that she was going to do dishes and house cleaning. It took a couple days, but on the third day he came home to a clean house and dishes washed and dinner cooked.

The second man had married a school teacher . He had given his wife orders that she was to do all the cleaning, dishes, and the cooking.  The first day he didn't see any results, but the next day he saw it was better. By the third day, he saw his house was clean, the dishes were done, and there was a huge dinner on the table.

The third man had married a rollergirl. He told her that her duties were to keep the house clean, dishes washed, lawn mowed, laundry washed and hot meals on the table for every meal. He said the first day he didn't see anything, the second day he didn't see anything, but by the third day some of the swelling had gone down and he could see a little out of his left eye, enough to fix himself a bite to eat and load the dishwasher.

Noah? Is that you?

Holy plethora of precipitation Batman!!

Normally it takes me about 30 minutes to get to work from up north, where a slew of my friends (and Mr. Man) live...and occasionally, when I don't want to be alone at night, I will crash at somebody's house up there and we'll have a Big Girl's Slumber Party. (MHP spends school nights at my mom & dad's so he doesn't have to wake up at the crack of dawn...he's REALLY not a morning person.)

So last night, I stayed up there, rather than in my really COLD apartment, 15 minutes from work.

And it took me two hours to get here this morning, because everything in the Seattle Metro area has been flooded.  (not really, but pretty much).

I think I saw Noah and his big wheel Ford truck on the freeway too. 

dude.

Stay tuned for the annual Derby and String "why I am a Grinch" post....kind of late this year! Maybe I'm getting soft in my old age, but this over commercialized holiday is sorta growing on me. A little.

Anyhoo, remind me to tell y'all about my almost trip to San Francisco yesterday....hopefully this new job doesn't end up as much like the old one, for those of you who haven't been reading Derby and String for long, with my job at Mindless Drones last year, I had to fly down and back same day (which actually got me on some "watch list", I found out) to San Francisco several times due to lack of forethought on my boss-at-the-time's part.

I really really hope this doesn't continue in this vein, because I had to run in a mad dash through town because we were out of white chocolate syrup last week, and the "big man on campus" cannot live without his afternoon mochas.

Yay!