4:42AM - Wake up to sounds of neighbors screaming at each other before they go to work. Realize they are not screaming at me, stop caring. Try to go back to sleep.
5:44(ish) - fall back asleep
6:01 - alarm goes off (i have an alarm on my cell phone)
6:01:03 - hit "snooze"
6:44 - realize I hit "dismiss" instead of "snooze" and right now I'm supposed to be in a car 10 miles away
6:46 - am in car, chain-smoking and trying to hold my eyelids open
7:07 - finally turn my computer on, after locking myself out of the office somehow, and tripping in the parking lot and ripping my new jeans
8:00 - realize the reason my mouse isn't working is because it's not my mouse, it's a pad of post-it notes I am trying to use to control my cursor
8:45 - send out a note to everyone asking if they need office supplies. Tell them I need their requests by noon.
9:15 - on a trip to the restroom, do not notice the glass door to the "fishbowl" conference room is open, and while talking to our CEO, walk smack into it. Do not fall down.
9:16 - develop a massive headache. Takes a few minutes to recall why.
9:25 - after being sidetracked on the way to the restroom, wash hands and start to leave restroom, when I notice in the mirror my pants in the "lady parts" area looks suspiciously not denim-coloured. Realize my zipper is down. And has been for 2 1/2 hours. Hooray.
9:48 - after smoking out in my car so no one will talk to me, lock my keys in the car.
10:45 - 3 of the guys (while I am working on the office supply order THAT HAS TO BE FINISHED BY NOON) from the shop build some thing using scrap metal and a welding torch to slip through my slightly cracked window to unlock my car.
11:15 - they finally get my keys out. I still am working on the office supply order, because nobody responded to the email I sent out that morning. Go desk-to-desk to ask if anyone needs anything. Everyone says no.
11:59 - latest time I can submit order without having to wait until Tuesday to get it. Hit "Submit"
12:00 - leave for lunch
1:00 - return from lunch to 13 emails from people asking for specific items for office supply order. Earliest one sent is at 12:40.
I am now sitting at my desk wondering how I could make a deal with someone to grow an extra pair of arms. Would I get paid more for the additional appendages? I bet I could knit a sweater with 4 arms...although 2 sleeves are giving me enough trouble as it is.
Thank GOD it's Friday. And no, I haven't finished the sweater. Yes, I will still wear it if it doesn't have sleeves. But I WILL be weaving in the ends.
I am not that bad.